Wow!! What a week this has been...tons of surprises and lot of introspection...hmm..my nerves seem to have gone on an overdrive over the last 7 days...
The surprises have all come from close quarters...over 3 days, I heard that 3 of my friends were getting engaged...one of them who has been my classmate and a great pal since I was 4!! The other was my cousin...and the 3rd was a friend of mine..but this hat-trick rattled me completely!! Girls whom I had shared so many of my experiences with, were ready to "settle down"..such a fatalistic way to put things into perspective..but anyway...they had decided that enough is enough...a companion is what they need now. I must appreciate the sense of responsibility and maturity they have developed so soon..but honestly, when I think of a companion, the first thing that comes to my mind ...is...A DOG!!! I mean...he wont be a liability..( :D), will behave himself..and give you an impression that he COMPLETELY understands what you are trying to say..now in case he began talking..then...I would seriously reconsider my decision of making him an integral part of my life!
So..they are now "settling down"..and once this news of settling down was announced in my family..that description would be pure anti-thesis to what was to transpire...panic calls, emotional blackmail (sniffles and sidelong glances ...the whole works!)..."you too need to take your life to the next step....their family is really relieved...these girls know what is best for them.."..HELLO!!! what is that supposed to mean? I get the factthat when one is 23-24..there is time to spend some exclusive time with your partner..and then build a family..but what if certain choices I have made do not align to these "norms"...am I wrong in choosing not to paint a final picture- of a happy couple (at 24) and a happy family (at 30)- am I being too arrogant when I say that I want a career?...I mean...these girls are one of the brightest people I know..who have the same, if not more dreams and aspirations..maybe they believe in themselves and know that this support is something that is going to fuel their dreams...it will work wonders in their relationships as well when their partner supports them in all their endeavours...then why is it htat I dread to take of such a _FINAL PLUNGE_? When I listen to them chat about their beaus..I see the excitement..fear...curiosity...for what life has in store for them...and that adrenalin rush has actually brought a lot more clarity in their plans as well. Buna, for example sounds so much more confident and gregarious than she has ever been in all the 19 years that I have known her....this marriage thing, I realise does work wonders!!
I had a conversation with Ajay yesterday that turned the spotlight on me..the topics turned philosophical and various questions that he posed to me made me shrivel up inside and realise that I was emotional disconnected from people who really cared about me. I was blunt, negative, insensitve to their needs and had discharged any sentiments that I had for my future...I was seeing everything in black and white..only 2 extremes that I am now familiar with..and no hues inbetween...maybe this was becasue I have gotten to be so self centred and snobbish that certain things..I brush off as being old fashioned or escapism!
Anyway...I am tired of this line of thought...a long weekend is here..and I am planning to catch up with the entire Seinfeld series while finishing a couple of books that have long been on my must-finish list. Monday is Labour Day..so CHUTTI from work...I might be staying over in my gran's place..so maybe the next time I blog..I will be in a much better frame of mind...so..until then...sayonara!!
The surprises have all come from close quarters...over 3 days, I heard that 3 of my friends were getting engaged...one of them who has been my classmate and a great pal since I was 4!! The other was my cousin...and the 3rd was a friend of mine..but this hat-trick rattled me completely!! Girls whom I had shared so many of my experiences with, were ready to "settle down"..such a fatalistic way to put things into perspective..but anyway...they had decided that enough is enough...a companion is what they need now. I must appreciate the sense of responsibility and maturity they have developed so soon..but honestly, when I think of a companion, the first thing that comes to my mind ...is...A DOG!!! I mean...he wont be a liability..( :D), will behave himself..and give you an impression that he COMPLETELY understands what you are trying to say..now in case he began talking..then...I would seriously reconsider my decision of making him an integral part of my life!
So..they are now "settling down"..and once this news of settling down was announced in my family..that description would be pure anti-thesis to what was to transpire...panic calls, emotional blackmail (sniffles and sidelong glances ...the whole works!)..."you too need to take your life to the next step....their family is really relieved...these girls know what is best for them.."..HELLO!!! what is that supposed to mean? I get the factthat when one is 23-24..there is time to spend some exclusive time with your partner..and then build a family..but what if certain choices I have made do not align to these "norms"...am I wrong in choosing not to paint a final picture- of a happy couple (at 24) and a happy family (at 30)- am I being too arrogant when I say that I want a career?...I mean...these girls are one of the brightest people I know..who have the same, if not more dreams and aspirations..maybe they believe in themselves and know that this support is something that is going to fuel their dreams...it will work wonders in their relationships as well when their partner supports them in all their endeavours...then why is it htat I dread to take of such a _FINAL PLUNGE_? When I listen to them chat about their beaus..I see the excitement..fear...curiosity...for what life has in store for them...and that adrenalin rush has actually brought a lot more clarity in their plans as well. Buna, for example sounds so much more confident and gregarious than she has ever been in all the 19 years that I have known her....this marriage thing, I realise does work wonders!!
I had a conversation with Ajay yesterday that turned the spotlight on me..the topics turned philosophical and various questions that he posed to me made me shrivel up inside and realise that I was emotional disconnected from people who really cared about me. I was blunt, negative, insensitve to their needs and had discharged any sentiments that I had for my future...I was seeing everything in black and white..only 2 extremes that I am now familiar with..and no hues inbetween...maybe this was becasue I have gotten to be so self centred and snobbish that certain things..I brush off as being old fashioned or escapism!
Anyway...I am tired of this line of thought...a long weekend is here..and I am planning to catch up with the entire Seinfeld series while finishing a couple of books that have long been on my must-finish list. Monday is Labour Day..so CHUTTI from work...I might be staying over in my gran's place..so maybe the next time I blog..I will be in a much better frame of mind...so..until then...sayonara!!
posted by MMmmm at 3:57 AM
2 Comments:
u need to put titles for ur blog entries..
btw.. tera # kab aayega?? i need to know months in advance to book tickets ok??
oh oh... wat a range of emotions.. must have been quite a giantwheel[:)] of sorts..
Few things to note:
U dont have to go the same way like the rest of them, U have the ability to do something unique, so cash on that one.
U dont have a reason to succumb to the pressures of marriage right now.
U have what you want.
Marriage does not mean the end of one's career. Lots of married women are getting increasingly successful these days. Not to mention that they scale even better than the maidens.
A dog does not guarentee liability. :). Heard an interesting conversation last night abt a dog humping a gal.. details later..
The first impressions of marriage always does wonders.. until it hits u, the responsibilities, the small-talks, gossips,, unless one is prepared for that one it is a big problem! and as u say, it is the _FINAL_PLUNGE_ and most of the times getting out of it is not without great grief.
Yes.. i completely agree with Aj on one.. u r very negative.. but then i consider it to be a good sign. we are always prepared for the worst.. and know what to do if somethings dont work out the way we want.. if they do, then its a bonus :)
C'mon mals.. all this is just a phase in life.. as days go by, ur family will forget abt the marriages, until the next one comes. humans have a very short term memory. just try to spend time outside home when such situations arise. u have a well-defined goal, and u r working towards it successfully, dont get bogged down.. its just another year to go :).. after all, u r the master of every situation :)
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