Face my fears...

I never ever quite comprehended the gravity of this line when it was spoken with all the solemness. However, a recent turn of events in my life has shown me how vulnerable we are, when one fine day we wake up to see our flaws and then HAVE TO muster the courage to face it, or else it will simply drag us away in its tide..away from our individuality...away from our beloved ones and away from our ownselves...leaving behind only an image of what we once were! The effect when one has to choose between continuing to remain ignorant of the problems and facing it to free ourselves from its clutches is one of the worst feelings ever! All the while, we perceive ourselves to be "normal" people with these problems being just adorable idiosyncrasies that everybody remembers about us...but as time wears on...this just grows on you..and you get addicted to such abnormalities and are left hopelessly unaware of methods to tackle this menace.

here i am looking out looking in

my eyes are open my mind's closed tight

i believe i know i need to let go

and i know i'm wrong but i think i'm right

so i shut you outand hear what i want to hear

and hide in my opinions

afraid to face my fear

face the fear

One will always have a really supportive family or concerned friends, but to gather all the strength and expose oneself to all our vulnerabilites is one of the most daunting tasks that one can make. I did this last weekend and it was the lightest I felt in a long time.....ok..problems and issues dont get resolved in one outburst...but a roadmap is defined for resolving the problems....however, I dont think I can ever live upto that person's expectations anymore...somehow I felt timid and insignificant and rather insipid while I narrated my feelings...

there you are reaching in reaching out

your arms are open,

your heart's closed tight

you believe you know you have to let go

and you think you won't

but you know you might

so you close your eyes

and pretend you're no here

and hide in your secrets

afraid to face your fear

face the fear

and you close your eyes

i hear what i want to hear

and we hide in our suspicions

afraid to face the fear

face the fear

and i shut you out

you pretend you're not here

and we hide in our loneliness

afraid to face the fear

face the fear

We live in this world of make-believe wherein we imagine ourselves to be the same individuals we were when things were better...but as time wears on...we retain that mental image of ourselves..but in turn, would have changes SO much that we would have lost clarity and thoughts as to the sort of people we have turned into..and when that anamoly is pointed out to us...it feels like the whole world around us has simply collapsed..disintegrated to its smallest quanta of existence....but as I write this blog (frankly speaking..no idea why I wrote this..but from what I gather, there are many of us out there who have a lot of skeletons in our closet), I realise that I am not just one individual anymore..I have many personalities when I am with different people...but when I am with myself....that individual, I simply cannot identify with..and what lise ahead of me..is my chanllenge to face my fears....