Why Be NICE!!!

I have a question....does anybody have the answer to WHO defined what exactly was- 'being NICE'? Who defined what sort of behaviour can be classified as "good" or "bad"? My answer is that it was one BIG loser whose feelings had simply taken one hell of a beating! Think about it..if you had been ignored or insulted or belittled..if your feelings had been squashed like an orange, or if your ego was severely deformed to the size of a peanut, you might have come up with, what YOU think, would send people directly to hell or heaven or somewhere inbetween! Frankly, sometimes I do not want my life to be driven by such notions! Just because I might hurt somebody's feelings..or that I will seem like a perfect ahem.."la perra", I might be nice..no..let me put it as ...Tolerant..towards that individual! So..it now boils down to...I DO care about what people think about me..and because I have this "image" to live upto, I will have to be "nice"...grind my teeth and don a smile on my face..or atleast..feign interest when I am around that person.

There is this song "things they are a-changing" playing on my system right now and I cannot begin to appreciate the irony of it all....things are definitely changing..somehow the westerners seem to have mastered the art to completely disconnect themselves from formalities and niceties when it comes to their lives.."it is my life..so I will play by my rules" is the name of their game...however, out here, in the world of The Geetha, people follow the "my granny's uncle's dog's 8th pup from its 7th litter's owner might get hurt..hence I need to be civil to them" policy. I am not saying that it is a wrong sentiment..maybe that is what still retains the warmth and the bonding we have amongst ourselves..however, there comes a time when I simply cannot fathom living life this way...wondering who I shall be hurting next..or who I will be rubbing the wrong way- God forbid, they dont feed the poor dog its meal!! I have perceived a noticable difference with the way my younger siblings handle these pressures...they really dont give a damn about what others have to say..but I do think that all this will one day prove to be a costly mistake...networking, be it within family circles or friends, is of utmost importance...my goodness..now I am beginning to sound like my MOM!!!!

Anyway....not many events or social gatherings that I have attended have passed without my mom not fretting over my 'behaviour' - "please be nice...dont sulk..you wont LOSE a thing by being nice to them"- phew..if only I had a dime for all those instances!! But my point is...what would I GAIN by being nice to them...I would only drag myself deeper into this maze of civilities when I finally accompany 60 year old "prospective mothers-in-law" with a propensity to identify any girl who walked in skirts as their future daughters-in-law over 5 course meals!!!

There are certain people in my family who have been rather impertinent...and let me say..that I simply adore them for that...but am also envious of the fact that they have mustered the courage to do so...because, in my case...I foresee the wraths of all the zillion Gods that we have, ordering me to rot in hell with my slightest display of disinterest or seemingly rude intonations...sigh...so, eventually, I turn into one of the sweet little girls who is SO warm and fuzzy...uggh...make me seem like one of those toddlers' teddy bears!

Anyway...at the end of it all, I must confess that I am entangled in this vicious cycle wherein I shudder to be civil or polite, but also love the attention that I get during social gatherings...but sometimes I do wonder....will I ever have a single occasion to celebrate with just the people I truly care about and love, to attend?