Funny, ain't it...this life?

Two months and actions taken that will last a lifetime....
Two months and words said that will keep me warm forever....
Two months and thoughts thought that will change me for eternity.....
Two months and feelings felt that will taunt me every single day....
Two months and relationships built that will stay with me through tough times....
Two months and lessons learned that have changed my life.....

Was I expecting these events? Are they designs only for the best? Could I have changed them? Would I want to change them? So many questions...all unanswered.....but will I ever find an answer? Would I want them to be answered? Honestly, I am not sure....today is one day I crave to know the answer, is my elation, my despondency, my helplessness, my gratitude, my inadequacies, my persistence all worth it? Is there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...wait a minute, is there a rainbow?
Sigh....so many questions....but all I know is that in two months, I have deviated from the road less traveled and allowed the demons to conquer me all over again! Oh...if only I knew.....if only life didn't throw such challenges at me so often.....if only I could grasp the humor behind it all.....if only......